Michigan’s laziest (alleged) shoplifter

Or perhaps it should be titled “Life imitates Seinfeld again.”

If your shoplifting master plan requires the use of a motorized cart, perhaps you should reconsider. [The Macomb Daily]:

400-pound woman caught shoplifting when motorized cart gets stuck at Rochester Hills Meijer … police use Taser to subdue her

Now that’s a headline!

A Pontiac woman’s alleged theft attempt was foiled this week when her motorized cart became stuck at a Rochester Hills Meijer.

Jerrie Perkins, 30, is charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud.

Investigators said Perkins was attempting to leave the Rochester Road Meijer with more than $600 worth of stolen electronic merchandise when her cart got stuck and she was unable to drive out the door.

Before you feel too sorry for her needing a motorized cart …

Perkins — approximately 5 foot 2 and 400 pounds — shoved a loss prevention officer and hit her in the face, according to the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office.

The incident ended when she tried to hit a deputy sheriff, earning a Taser shot and a trip to the hoosegow.

Law related? Eh. But it gives me a chance to post this:

When I posted the Kramer thing last week, I had no intention of making it a running thing.

Man pretends to be attorney, steals money from firm’s client trust account

From the Dept. of How Did That Happen?” [St. Louis Post-Dispatch via ABA Journal]:

A St. Louis man, Allen Dean Ritchie, 42, pleaded guilty Thursday to a federal identity theft charge and admitted using money from a law firm’s client trust accounts and Washington University for his personal use.

Ritchie also admitted “accessing and using the credit and financial accounts” of Washington University and alumni between 2007 and 2008, his plea agreement says.

Ritchie allegedly pretended to be a lawyer at this unnamed law firm (Why wouldn’t they report the name of the firm?) and gained access to the trust accounts.

Perhaps that’s the best way to get a law job these days. Just show up. It sounds so … familiar:

Your excuse for writing off those ‘Seinfeld’ DVDs as a business expense

If you have “Seinfeld: The Complete Series” on DVD as one of your holiday wish list items, a continuing legal education webcast could be considered the ultimate optional bonus feature for attorneys.

“‘Seinfeld’ and the Law: A Seminar About Nothing,” presented by the South Carolina Bar, describes itself as a “chance to brush up your legal knowledge in a unique and entertaining way,” by analyzing “a show rife with complex legal issues.”

For example, “The Puffy Shirt” concerns contract law, meeting of the minds, the Mirror Image Rule and damages.

Or “The Old Man,” which deals with elder law, conservatorship, competency and informal agreements.

Most famously, “The Soup Nazi” covers intellectual property and interestingly, libel and false-light cases, as the man who the character was based on was involved in an actual lawsuit regarding his being deemed a “Nazi.”

Then there’s “The Finale,” involving character evidence, modus operandi, and, because an in-show criminal trial takes place in the episode, relevancy.

Now, if only “Seinfeld” fans could have filed a class-action suit against the producers for such a bad series ending …

HT: The Volokh Conspiracy

– Douglas J. Levy