Michigan’s laziest (alleged) shoplifter

Or perhaps it should be titled “Life imitates Seinfeld again.”

If your shoplifting master plan requires the use of a motorized cart, perhaps you should reconsider. [The Macomb Daily]:

400-pound woman caught shoplifting when motorized cart gets stuck at Rochester Hills Meijer … police use Taser to subdue her

Now that’s a headline!


A Pontiac woman’s alleged theft attempt was foiled this week when her motorized cart became stuck at a Rochester Hills Meijer.

Jerrie Perkins, 30, is charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud.

Investigators said Perkins was attempting to leave the Rochester Road Meijer with more than $600 worth of stolen electronic merchandise when her cart got stuck and she was unable to drive out the door.

Before you feel too sorry for her needing a motorized cart …

Perkins — approximately 5 foot 2 and 400 pounds — shoved a loss prevention officer and hit her in the face, according to the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office.

The incident ended when she tried to hit a deputy sheriff, earning a Taser shot and a trip to the hoosegow.

Law related? Eh. But it gives me a chance to post this:

When I posted the Kramer thing last week, I had no intention of making it a running thing.

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